90+ Worst Cat Names That Will Make Your Cat Plot Revenge

Naming a cat can be a delightful adventure or a regrettable decision that haunts both owner and pet for years. While creative expression is admirable, some names cross the line from unique to unfortunate.

From corporate buzzwords to failed attempts at cleverness, this comprehensive guide explores the categories of cat names that should probably stay in the brainstorming session.

Common Objects Turned Terrible Names

Microsoft Office Suite - Imagine calling "Excel" or "PowerPoint" for dinner.
Instagram - Social media platforms make terrible cat names, period.
Glue - Not only unpleasant sounding, but also implies sticky situations.
Tampon - Self-explanatory awkwardness.
National Public Radio - "NPR" for short doesn't make it better.
Catalog - A play on "cat" that falls completely flat.
Taxes - Nobody likes them, including your cat.
Realty - Real estate terminology doesn't translate well to pet names.
Windows Update - Technology-inspired names rarely work.
LinkedIn - Professional networking sites make unprofessional pet names.
Printer - Another office supply that shouldn't become a name.
WiFi - Technology names date quickly.
Bluetooth - Sounds more like a pirate than a cat.

Trying Too Hard to Be Clever

Chairman Miouw - The political pun loses its charm after the first time.
Sir Purrceval - Medieval names with cat puns are painful.
Kitty Kitty Bang Bang - Movie reference plus cat sound equals trying too hard.
Fur Elise - Classical music puns should stay in their own category.
Lucy Furr - The demonic pun is overused, especially for black cats.
Astrophe - Turning "catastrophe" into a name isn't clever.
Purrcolator - Coffee machine puns don't improve with cat sounds.
Purr-pose - Purpose with a cat twist still misses the mark.
Julius Sneezer - Historical figures don't need cat-related ailments.
Pawdrey Hepburn - Celebrity names with cat puns are overworked.
Clawdius - Roman names don't need claw-related modifications.
William Shakespaw - Literary references with puns are too much.
Sherlock Holmes - Detective names need no cat adaptation.

Food Names That Miss the Mark

Monosodium Glutamate - MSG isn't appetizing as a name.
Candy Corn Tortilla - Mixing random foods creates confusion.
Black Bottom Pie - Dessert names can be unappetizing.
Pickle - Some foods just don't translate well to names.
Onion - Vegetables that make cats cry aren't great names.
Mandu - Dumplings don't make good pet names.
Strudel - Pastries aren't automatically cute names.
Ginger Nuts - Cookie names can become unfortunate nicknames.
Creamed Corn - Canned vegetables make terrible names.
Beef Wellington - Fancy dishes don't equal fancy cat names.
Sushi Roll - Raw fish references are too obvious.
Baked Bean - Legumes don't make good names.
Toast - Simple foods make simple names.

Awkwardly Human Names

Frank - Creates confusion in conversations about cat behavior.
Bethany Krinklequeef - Full human names are awkward for cats.
Bob - Too ordinary for a cat.
Karl Manx - Historical figure puns don't improve with cat breeds.
Herr Balls - Foreign titles don't make inappropriate names better.
Sally Mae - Loan company references bring bad memories.
Kevin - Regular human names create odd situations.
Margaret Scratcher - Political puns are dated.
Dave - Overly casual human names feel out of place.
Mr. Anderson - Formal human names with titles are excessive.
Barbara - Traditional human names sound strange on cats.
Steve Jobs - Tech figure names are too specific.
Linda from HR - Job titles make awkward additions to names.

Just Plain Lazy

Cat - Naming your cat "Cat" shows a complete lack of imagination.
The Other Cat (TOC) - When you can't be bothered to name your second cat.
You - "Come here, You!" becomes confusing for everyone involved.
Boy/Girl - Gender is not a name.
Kitty - The default name when no thought is given.
That One - Pointing isn't a naming convention.
It - Referring to your pet as an object isn't endearing.
This Cat - Demonstrative pronouns don't make good names.
Number Two - Numerical ordering isn't creative.
New Cat - Temporary descriptions shouldn't become permanent names.
Whatever - Indifference shouldn't be a naming strategy.
Thing - Generic nouns make poor names.
Here - Location-based calls aren't names.

Questionable Choices

Dog - Creating an identity crisis and public confusion.
Wank - Inappropriate in any context.
Pissant - Crude terms don't improve with time.
Mouse - Naming a predator after its prey is confusing.
Karen - Unless your cat demands to speak to the manager.
Asker - Creating intentionally confusing conversations.
Emergency Ration - Suggesting your pet is food isn't funny.
Dinner - Similar to Emergency Ration, implies unfortunate endings.
ALF - Naming after a TV alien who ate cats is poor taste.
Christ Redeemer - Religious references can be inappropriate.
Epidermoid - Medical terms aren't cute.
Loin - Anatomical references are uncomfortable.
Marlon Bundo - Political pet references date quickly.

Pop Culture References Gone Wrong

Kardashian - Celebrity names become dated quickly.
Instagram Filter Names - Social media trends are temporary.
Zoboomafoo - When your cat clearly isn't a lemur.
Cat Stevens - Too obvious and overused.
Schrodinger - The physics joke has been done to death.
Tesla - Electric car companies aren't personality traits.
Walrus - Beatles references don't always translate.
Vegetarian Women's Multi Once Daily Vitamin - Product names aren't clever.
F Newsmagazine - Publications don't make good names.
Farcical - Attempting irony falls flat.
Ivanka/Ivana/Melania - Political family names age poorly.
Arie Luyendyk Jr. - Reality TV star references become obsolete.
Donald/Eric/Don Jr. - Political figures are divisive choices.
Huckabee Sanders - Political spokesperson names date quickly.

Unique Considerations

Body Part Names

Naming your cat Pancreas, Kidney, or Spleen creates uncomfortable veterinary visits and strange conversations. "How's Liver doing?" doesn't make for pleasant dinner table talk.

Medication Names

A cat named Prozac, Xanax, or Viagra raises eyebrows at the vet's office. The pharmacy might have questions when you say "I need to pick up something for Adderall."

Political Figure Names

Political names like Trump, Biden, or Putin become awkward conversation starters and can age poorly as political landscapes change. Your cat will outlive most political cycles.

Identity Crisis Names

Calling a cat Dog, Hamster, or Goldfish creates confusion not just for the pet, but for everyone around them. "Has anyone seen Bird?" becomes a unnecessarily complex question.

Public Space Names

Consider how the name sounds when called out loud. Bethany Krinklequeef or Pissant become particularly problematic at the vet's office or when your cat escapes. Shouting "Come back, Emergency Ration!" in your neighborhood might raise concerns.

Professional Setting Names

Names that reference work items like Microsoft Excel or LinkedIn make for strange conversations when discussing your pet at work. "I spent all weekend cleaning up after PowerPoint" creates unnecessary confusion.

Medical Condition Names

Avoid naming cats after diseases or conditions like Cancer, Diabetes, or Arthritis. These names can be insensitive and create uncomfortable situations during veterinary visits.

Religious Reference Names

Names like Christ Redeemer or Buddha can be considered disrespectful and create awkward situations in mixed company.

Personal Information Names

Using names that include personal data like Social Security or Credit Score can lead to confusing and potentially problematic situations.

Emergency Situation Names

Consider how the name sounds in an emergency. Help, Fire, or Police are particularly poor choices that could create genuine confusion in critical situations.

Remember that a cat's name will be used for many years in various situations. The name that seems amusing at first might become tiresome or problematic over time.